Category Archives: Stream of Consciousness

SoC: Long Hair


At the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

Stream of consciousness!

Long hair is something I’ve often had in my life. It’s seen as “beautiful” by society. To be feminine and pretty in the eyes of men (and respected by women), it’s rammed into our psyche that women need long smooth flowing hair.

I love having long hair. It seems best to me when it descends below my breasts and grows towards my belly button. I also hate having long hair. It immediately becomes a rat’s nest at the back of my neck after a couple of days and actually washing it is quite a chore. Having shorter hair is easy to maintain, it’s easy to make it look bouncy, easy to wash quickly and not much brushing is necessary. With long hair, I keep needing to (painfully) brush it out before showering or while showering, otherwise I get actual clumps of giant knots which look and feel awful. Aussie 3-minute miracle conditioner is a God-send, but there’s only so much it can do, you know.

Earlier this year I decided to cut my hair to shoulder length (after it had reached my belly button). It was great. My boyfriend loved it. Others loved it. I loved it. But I missed my long hair sometimes. Was this due to the right reasons? Was it just because I didn’t feel as feminine as I used to? Am I a good feminist? WAAAAAAAH.

I’m conflicted about this trivial issue. Right now I’m leaning towards letting my hair grow out again. Have the long flowing hair I’m usually used to. However, that creates a feeling of “dread” because that means (1) hair that gets dirtier and knottier faster, (2) more hair clogging the drain, (3) more hair everywhere in our apartment/everywhere, (4) hair that rarely looks voluminous because it gets weighed down.

I like that my hair is curly/wavy, and when it’s long, this really shows beautifully (most of the time), but do I need a mane of hair? If I have enough to keep my head warm and cover my ears (which stick out), isn’t that enough?